Back in the summer of 2011, I was preparing to travel from New Orleans, LA to Kigali, Rwanda, where I would work as a graduate student intern for an orphanage and center for street children just outside of the capital city. I was fortunate enough that local media from my hometown of Plattsburgh, NY were interested in learning more about what I would be doing, and I ended up interviewing with the local paper for a story. It was during this interview where I used the phrase "cultural gap". A cultural gap is effectively exactly what it sounds like - a significant difference between two cultural groups which may hinder understanding or the establishing of relationships, etc. I anticipated that in Rwanda, and met it in many forms. As a social worker, we are trained in cultural competence and appropriateness, as well as being mindful of things like ethnocentrism and cultural relativity. Part of the reason why I believe I am effective in these international settings is my strong sense of fidelity to that approach. One will not likely convince another that they are right simply by telling them that they are wrong. As such, I pride myself in working effectively in cross-cultural environments, simultaneously navigating cultural differences while being respectful and yet still making a meaningful impact.
Over the past 3 plus years I have lived and worked in Haiti, without question I as the Director of a foreign organization operating here, and we as an organization have had to work through countless incidents and examples of how cultures clash - of how that cultural gap resonates and affects the day to day. Of course, there are major differences between American and Haitian culture. We like to say around here that when we know better, we do better, and so there are times where while respecting local tradition, beliefs, customs, etc., we do introduce outside ideas, beliefs, values to our Haitian family. This most often happens with our staff, and during our friend Love's visit to Haiti last week, a very significant incident arose, and we weren't quite sure how to handle it. Thankfully, with Love here, having been Haitian born and raised until the age of 10 before moving to the USA, we had a very helpful perspective to solicit!
The issue arose through what is referred to in Haiti as "radyo 32" - that is, radio 32 - the rumor mill. Gossip. (Think, 32 teeth in your mouth - or essentially mouth radio). It came to our attention in the office that an employee was being harassed and even threatened because it was rumored that he or she was possibly gay or lesbian. Concerned employees flooded the office, asking me to investigate formally, and if in fact it was determined as such, that it would be in the best interest of the organization to terminate that employee immediately. Indeed, the thought was made quite clear that if in fact a gay or lesbian person was working here at Be Like Brit as a caregiver to a child, we needed to be concerned for the safety of the children and the message that it would send if we did not condone this lifestyle, and send this person on their way. Yes, quite literally, the fear was that gay or lesbian people would abuse the children in the orphanage.
Obviously, we disagree. I say we collectively as Len, Cherylann, myself, and our organization as a whole. In fact, contained within our Working Vision and Guiding Principles, a document authored by Cherylann and a committee of professionals (including clergy, psychologists, educators), is a very clear statement on diversity and on the development of a global perspective. Accepting of differences and an appreciation for what each and every one of us human beings on this planet may be able to contribute as a key value, a core value in fact. Indeed, in the spirit of Britney, who was a friend to those members of society who might be marginalized because of their differences, we knew that this situation presented to us an ideal opportunity to teach. At the same time, I knew we also had the obligation to be respectful and reasonable - and culturally appropriate. No, this was not a time for us to present our values and morals to the staff and force them to conform. Instead, it was an opportunity to reiterate the values set forth by our Working Vision and Guiding Principles. The meeting was called...
We sincerely do our best with very difficult situations here at BLB, and at no time do we try to politicize or gain any kind of traction from issues that present themselves. We simply started our meeting by reading aloud our core values and our working vision. Len then described how Britney was an advocate for those who would be marginalized by people who felt it was their right to marginalize others, or render others irrelevant. I spoke about how it was never acceptable to use something about a person that was different from you to try to strip people of dignity or of respect. I spoke to their beliefs as Christians, and was able to pull from the long-ago days of my Catholic schooling that we are all created in God's image, that we ought not judge others - that right was reserved for one, and One only. The looks on the faces of our employees ranged from somewhat horrified that we would even bring it up to nodding in agreement - that, indeed, it was not our place to judge or demean or undermine people. It was our job to raise children in an environment that is tolerant and open to loving people no matter what. The lesson was simple, really. Love thy neighbor.
I'm not 100% certain that what we did was the right thing to do in terms of having a meeting and setting those expectations and standards with our staff. I wonder if we are not doing our children a disservice by asking them to be tolerant of things which are largely intolerable in this society. I wonder if encouraging our children to grow up with these open minds won't possibly put them in a vulnerable spot some day. Yet, I do try to remember, when we know better, we do better. And I do feel that we did better that day, in that meeting...
We know we will face many more challenges in regards the cultural gap. We can only hope that the values with which we raise our children at Be Like Brit will be the kinds of values that allow them to develop that healthy global perspective, to show kindness to everyone they meet no matter what differences they may have between each other, and to Continue the Compassion of Britney Gengel, who was one of the fiercest defenders of those who were somehow 'different' ~ if we do that well and successfully, we will have done our part to contribute to a world in which more people are loved. That's not a bad legacy.
