Family Week!

Every week is busy here at Be Like Brit, and this past one was no different!  Len and Cherylann arrived last week on Monday to visit with the children and tend to some business, and our Be Like Brit family grew by three boys!

Len and Cherylann greet the children as they come home from school!

Brothers! (L-R) Kerby, Davidson, and Fredo

One of the week's biggest events (and one of my favorite days!) was last Sunday after church when Rosenie and I took 14 of Brit's children out with us and visited the communities they were living in prior to coming to Be Like Brit.  Part of our programming includes regular family involvement (keeping in mind that family may mean a variety of things in this context!) and while the policy itself is ever-evolving and being tweaked to accommodate for each individual child's need or desire, I believe it's very important to keep the children connected to their roots.

I sometimes refer to Be Like Brit as a "bubble of privilege", and the last thing I want is for our children to become so insulated inside that bubble that they lose their sense of identity and all familiarity with what the real world is like for most people in Haiti.  That's how we bring up a generation of future leaders who value things like reciprocity - by keeping them connected.

At any rate, the children were more than excited to go and put on some of their best clothes as we piled in the pickup truck and set out for the afternoon.  And yes, driving a pickup truck filled with children in Haiti does make me nervous!

Let's go, already! 

I really had no idea what to expect as we set off for the first stop.  I had spent a lot of time discussing the visits with the children involved, being sure they wanted to go, talking about how they felt about going, etc., etc., but still, those things you plan for the most often are the things that you have to have a "wait and see" attitude.  I wanted our children to be excited about seeing aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, old friends, and even a few moms - but I was nervous about the emotional toll it might take on them.  I mostly feared that some of our children would express a desire to stay - to not want to come back to Be Like Brit.  How would I handle that?

One of the homes from where some of our children came from

I was so relieved to be witness to the excitement and the anticipation each child felt for the others as we neared the next "house".  They couldn't wait to introduce their new brothers and sisters to their extended families or to the people with whom they were living; to show their new brothers and sisters their old home, to see old friends.  They were genuinely happy, excited, and spoke proudly of going to school and what life is like for them now at Be Like Brit.

Steeve was happy to see his Grandmother!

Something that I don't think I'll ever be able to fully "get" or understand is how familial relationships seem or appear to work in Haiti.  At face value, even when bringing children in to the Orphanage, there seems to be this stoic, emotionless, very matter-of-fact exchange of "child for birth certificate" sort of arrangement.  I always ask the adults bringing us children if they would like to walk around and see where their child will be living, meet their caregivers, etc., and almost always get an awkward no.  When I ask adults about visiting the child they will be bringing us, they almost always say something along the lines of, "yes, sure, when would you like me to visit."  There's not often tears, there's never a screaming child holding tight to the arm of the adult who has provided him or her with care for the last 'X' number of years.  At least not on the surface.  I remember crying so hard the first day of school every year until I was about 9.  I have yet to see that happen here - that separation doesn't seem to bring any sadness.

Walking to another house!

And that's how these visits seemed, at least for the most part. Children and adults were not overly emotional about seeing each other. They didn't run up to one another and embrace.  There were no tight, long hugs and tears of joy like we see in the States every day at something as simple as an arrival gate at the airport.  And I can't quite yet figure that out.  It wears on my mind constantly.  Is it that simple?  Is the presence of a child in your home so much of a burden because it's another mouth to feed that the absence of that child provides so much relief that the dominant emotion is not sadness?  Or is it a facade?

Socrate, waving?

I can't help but believe there's more going on beneath the surface, though I realize that's my own Western framed mind telling me this.  The whole idea of trauma is something scholars contest as a social construct of Western thought and not so much a reality for those who are supposedly suffering from it.  I don't know who is right and who is wrong, and quite frankly, I don't care.  I'll continue to be mindful of all of this while keeping the best interest of our children as the number one priority.  Smiles don't usually lie.  Our children seemed overwhelmingly happy to reunite briefly with friends and family, share a quick hug, and head back home to Be Like Brit.  As I spoke with each child afterwards about how they felt about their day, it was clear that all was well with their world.  At least for the moment.

Thanks for reading - and enjoy a few more photos from that day!

Jonathan

Old friends in the neighborhood!

Love na's neighbor is happy to see her!

Waving to Be Like Brit from another hill!

Ephesiens recognizes his old neighbor!

Many of these homes have yet to be rebuilt, 3 years later.